Meet our writers



March 2018
Puttin' on the Gritz

Life in the Senior Lane

Before I could even blink, my patootie was bobbing up and down like a duck, my legs were sticking up in the air in a very unladylike position, and a bunch of Vietnamese manicurists were circling me trying to decide whether to call 911 for the crazy lady who was by then laughing her head off.

Agelessly Yours

All That’s Elementary Is Not Easy

I feel like I truly belong with the high school-age students and I tremble with excitement when I teach Death Of A Salesman and Of Mice And Men, so why did I ever accept a subbing position in the elementary school? They don’t teach the classics there, but oh, those worksheets!

Ernie's World

Happy Super Bowl to You!

Did I mention I grew up in New England? Home of the Patriots! I even have Tom Brady underwear. It would be un-American to not watch the game.

February 2018
Laverne's View

Eureka! RumpleSilkSkin!

The new jiggles are on the inner side. I twist both arms, left, right, left. The jiggles twist left, right, left. Pretty! I do it again and again. I’m mesmerized. Ripples run elbow to wrist, like rivulets in rows on the ocean floor (sand at low tide) except mine are movable, choreographed in the twisting, and minuscule, crepey, a little puffy.


Three ‘Secrets’ for a 50th Anniversary

Love the person you’re with, not some fantasy person, not someone you want to change, but someone you love just as they are. Not someone whose behavior you like in every situation, but someone you love in every situation.

Agelessly Yours

A Tale of Two Harveys

One look at my abdomen with those purplish blue stretch marks, an earthworm-looking scar on my left side, a souvenir from my appendectomy, and two floppy breasts that are long enough to be tucked into my sexy white cotton high-waisted briefs – and old Harvey would have been traumatized for life!


Is That My Echo?

The person selling these kinds of products always claims something like "It's so easy to use. Just plug it in." This is never true, although I got my new desk lamp working in under an hour.

November 2017
Laverne's View

There’s No Place Like It

“Sweetheart,” I said, “Do you remember our beautiful, renovated kitchen, with every modern convenience? If so, then you must certainly know I’ve never been in it. So, why would I enjoy cooking on vacation, in a small box on wheels?”

Alive and Kidding

I Can't Flip My Mattress!

It had been so long since I'd slept on anything that didn't resemble a ski slope or a topographical map of the Himalayas, I'd forgotten what a level mattress felt like. It was heavenly. I actually could feel my back muscles writing me a thank-you note.

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