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Humor

May 2019
Cohen
Dear Pharmacist

New and Novel Ways to Treat Diabetes

Statin cholesterol medications can easily predispose a person to developing diabetes. After a few months or years, you suddenly need to take medications for diabetes...there are dozens of prescription and over-the-counter medications which negatively impact your blood glucose levels, glycation end products and overall insulin sensitivity.

Fowler
Eat Right Now

Nourishing, Magical, Curative Mushrooms

The family of edible fungus holds vitamins A, C, B-complex, D, phosphorous, magnesium, iron, protein, and copper. The potassium in shiitake and maitake mushrooms relaxes blood vessels, hence, reducing blood pressure. Packed with fiber, mushrooms improve digestion, lower blood sugars, and fill you up quicker.

Slayback

Caution: Are These Drugs Really Cures?

We know drug resistant bacteria emerge with overuse of antibiotics. Sadly, seniors are prescribed more drugs than another age group, with doctors writing nearly 52 million antibiotic prescriptions a year — that equals one for each senior in the U.S. every year.

Duffy

Marry Alexa? It’s a Dull Proposal.

People tell me I need to just ask her yes and no questions, so I do. I asked her if baseball is the world’s greatest sport. She gave me an update on major league baseball. I appreciated her
effort, but she didn’t answer my question.

Witham
Ernie's World

The Aunts Go Marching Two by Two…

 “If left to their own devices, aphids will deform and stunt your plants.” They’re bonsai. They are already as stunted as I want them to be!

Wolfsie

Hobby Hubby

When my wife and I go on vacation we enjoy zip-lining, parasailing and windsurfing, but there is just so much of that you can watch before it gets very tiring.

April 2019
Breslin
Alive and Kidding

Are You Calm or a Worrywart?

 

I sobbed out, “I accidentally belched in the middle of dinner! I’m so embarrassed, I’ll never be able to face Kevin again!”

Poor Dad rolled his eyes and said, “You mean I just drank half a bottle of that disgusting chalk for that?”

Rearick
Puttin' on the Gritz

Drop Back One and Punt

Five minutes later, crawling on my hands and knees, I reach my rumpled bed while holding a small plastic wastebasket clamped between my front teeth. Babe, on the other hand, is walking the floor as if he’s the title of a country/western song.

White-Walker
Agelessly Yours

Like Two Feet In One Shoe — Ouch!

I had a better chance of hitting the Mega Millions Lottery where your odds are about 265 million to one of winning, than both of us being propped up on some mantlepiece in a bulging urn.

Witham
Ernie's World

Conquering The Narrows

Realized as I neared the water that a) there were numerous motorboats darting about my landing spot and b) I hadn’t decided ahead of time whether to jump or dive. This resulted in a belly flop of epic proportions. Or as it soon became known – “the Ernie.”

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