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Reflections February 2013

Wit and Grit

Dance Shoes Lead to the Big Question

By Mary Stobie

Luckily Dick keeps his offer of marriage open. He jokes that he won't marry me unless I bring my cat. "She's the dowry," he says. His sense of humor entices me, and we continue to see each other. "I know you're in love with me, I can see it in your eyes," he says.

Life often surprises me.

Living single in a Colorado mountain town, I doubt I'll remarry. Besides the lack of men, weddings give me the willies. But after living alone a few years, my neighbor Sally, invites me to take dance lessons.

When the evening arrives, I wear a black dress and silver shoes. Sally wears a flowered dress and heels – we barely recognize each other. She drives me the dance studio in Denver.

Exiting her car, I step in a hole, scuffing my shoe. "Ay yi yi!"

Feeling clumsy at age 60, I wonder why I'm not more poised. Maybe it’s because I work at home as a writer.

Inside the dance hall, I gaze at a group of women in evening dresses. The men – mostly wearing suits and ties – wait across the dance floor from the women. The memory of being a wallflower at Junior High Cotillion flashes across my mind.

"Find a partner for the waltz,” the instructor says.

Following the steps of a man proves difficult for me. With fits and starts, I let go of my ringleader tendencies and begin to enjoy myself.

After the class, the instructor says, "Mary, dump those flats, you need dance shoes." And she tells me where to get them.

The next day on a street with quaint shops, I fail to locate the dance store. The sign for Grandfather's Books catches my eye. Figuring a book person will know the area, I open the door. Bells jingle.

A handsome man with silver hair is eating potato chips and reading The Hobbit. It turns out he's the owner, Dick. I ask him for directions to the dance store.

"Yes, I know where it is, but tell me something first. Who are you?" He engages me in conversation and we talk for an hour, discovering we have much in common, such as loving books, movies and discussing spiritual subjects. With a twinkle in his eye he mentions his 52 angels. “Maybe they brought you in,” he says.

From our great conversation, I agree to help in his non-profit bookstore as a part-time volunteer. Before I leave, he says he likes to do the jitterbug.

And so with Dick's directions, I find the dance store and buy a pair of Capezio shoes, not realizing I have just met the man who will change my life.

After volunteering in Dick's bookstore and nine months of get-togethers, I wonder if we should keep it the way it is – a friendship. But then something romantic happens. On Valentine’s Day, we attend a centering prayer group. Afterwards we go Dutch to Denny's! Our conversation sizzles, and our relationship steps up to another level. After a year of hikes, ski trips, movies and dinners (and some aren't even Dutch) we find we are together more than apart. At a mountain lake, Dick gets down on bended knee. It is a touching sight to see him gazing up at my eyes.

"Will you marry me?" he asks.

I am surprised but pleased at his offer. But since I hesitate to accept, he says he’ll give me time to think.

When I visit my 90-year-old mother, who lives in a nursing home, I say, "Dick has asked me to marry him."

"What are you waiting for?" she asks.

“I need time to think it over.”

Luckily Dick keeps his offer of marriage open. He jokes that he won't marry me unless I bring my cat. "She's the dowry," he says. His sense of humor entices me, and we continue to see each other. "I know you're in love with me, I can see it in your eyes," he says.

Finally I tell Dick, "Yes, I'll marry you. How about a destination wedding in Mexico?"

"No,” Dick says. “My friends won't be able to travel to Mexico, especially my friend in a wheelchair."

"I concede," I say. "My mother's in a wheelchair, too. Now both she and your friend will be able to attend if we have it locally."

Now it's time to announce our wedding plans to friends and relatives. When I tell Sally I'm getting married, she says, "Really? You?"

"Yes, me."

For the wedding, I choose a white lacy top with a long black shimmering skirt. The outfit
looks lovely with my black Capezio dance shoes I bought the day I met Dick.

Because my mother is in fragile health, we hold the ceremony in the guest dining room of
her nursing home. When I walk in, Dick is waiting, looking handsome in his new wool blazer, slacks, and shined shoes. His blue eyes light up as we approach each other. My mother and my elderly aunt beam. As we're surrounded by the warmth of family and friends, I am thrilled to feel love for Dick and his love for me. With a priest friend officiating, Dick and I say our sacred vows to each other, promising to share our hopes, dreams, fears, and laughter.

And after three years am I ever glad I married him – the companionship, conversation, and physical affection are all delightful. To love and be loved again is a blessing.

And I have a fun partner who smiles at me when we’re dancing and still calls me his "beautiful bride. "Sometimes I wonder about Dick's 52 angels. Did they put us together?

Yes, life is full of surprises.

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