In case you're still "sitting on the fence" about whether moving forward is the right thing to do, let me give you my perspective on this issue. Although I read and hear over and over again about the value of "aging in place" (remaining in the same home for as long as possible), I just don't buy it. Just as we change throughout our lives, our lifestyle and housing needs also change. Do you remember the house (or houses) you grew up in with your parents and siblings? What about your first apartment as a young adult, or your first home after getting married? Can you recall how excited you were when you could afford to buy your dream home for your family? Or what about the home you moved into after retirement, the one that felt so perfect at that time?

Just as those living situations fit you and your lifestyle in the past, your current housing situation should be a good fit for where you are now in your life. Different spaces really do fit different phases. Moving forward for this phase should take you to a setting that's smaller and more manageable, with less (or no) responsibility for maintenance and upkeep. You're also wise to seek out housing options that afford you some available support and assistance, along with plentiful opportunities for engagement and interaction with others. Why? Because these factors will contribute to your health and well-being, will help you retain your freedom and autonomy, and can provide security and peace of mind for you and your family. By making the right choice about your next home, you can also free up time and space to devote to your favorite people and activities so you can live each day to the fullest, and make the most of the coming years.

Time for a Mindset Change

So why do so many people cling to their houses for dear life, when they would be better served by letting go and moving forward? One key reason is that a house is often closely associated with independence, something many believe should be theirs forever. This tendency of ours to overvalue independence may have been okay when the balance of our society was young, and when few people lived a long life -- but this is no longer the case with our fast-growing aging population. Yet this outdated belief is still pervasive. As a result, too many seniors are spending way too much time, energy, and money trying to "age in place" and hang on to a false sense of self-reliance.

It's time to let go of these old ways of thinking and shift our mindset to valuing and embracing the importance of interdependence. Why? Because relationships do matter, and because we're always better and stronger when we connect with others, than when we try to go it alone. Yes, I know this will require releasing your attachment to independence. Maybe you'll even need to let go of your current home and lifestyle. But one of the special opportunities of this phase of life is opening up to a new way of living. There are just so many benefits from being part of a connected community, and from having readily available companionship and support all around you.

Drop the Rocks!

What other factors may be holding people in place? Denial, fear, depression, grief, basic resistance to change, and emotional attachment may have roles in this as well. Yes, moving and letting go of a home that's familiar can be difficult and stressful. But hanging on too long often leads to a life of loneliness and isolation -- things that are even more detrimental to positive health and successful aging.

There is a story I have often used in my programs on living transitions because it illustrates so well the danger in hanging on when it's time to let go and move on. The story is about a woman who was swimming across a lake with a rock in her hand. As this woman neared the center of the lake, she started to sink from the weight of the stone.

"Drop the rock," shouted some people who were watching from the shore. But the woman kept swimming, now disappearing for moments at a time under the water.

"Drop the rock!" they yelled louder. The woman had reached the middle of the lake and was sinking as much as she was swimming. Once more the people urged, "Drop the rock!"

And as the woman disappeared from sight for the last time, they heard her say, "I can't. It's mine."

Housing that no longer fits, a stockpile of belongings, and outdated roles and responsibilities can become too heavy for us as we age, and will start bringing us down if we don't release them and let them go. Might this be true for you and your situation? If so, maybe it's time to drop the rocks in your life, and consider the benefits of moving on to a setting and lifestyle that's a better fit for you now.

The Gift That Keeps Giving

Actively choosing to let go and move forward can be a wonderful gift to your family. I can't tell you how relieved I am that my parents decided when, where, and how to make their right-sizing move when they were in their late 70s. They gave my siblings and me a tremendous gift by thinking through how they wanted to live out their later years. They also relieved us of the responsibility and burden of making important, but very tough decisions, for them.

Right-Sizing is Right for You

After every move I’ve helped with, my clients always looked less stressed and more energized once the weight of this decision and their large house was off their shoulders. Many also thrive in their new environments because they are enhancing their own successful aging by spending time on physical exercise they enjoy, taking advantage of new experiences and opportunities, and engaging in life and enjoying their network of friends.

Sue Ronnenkamp is a retirement living and transition expert. Her education and consulting work focuses on planning ahead, embracing change, moving forward, and living every season of life to the fullest. For more information, visit Sue's website at www.AgeFullLiving.com.

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