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Humor

October 2017
Marze
Vintage Vibes

Wanted: Wisdom and Maturity

Unfortunately one of the staff was walking by and nearly had a conniption fit. Apparently, asking callers if people are “dead or alive” is not considered good funeral home etiquette.

McDevitt

Words Matter

My wife was still laughing uncontrollably when she handed the phone to me to speak to our son who was also laughing very hard. When he was able to stop laughing he explained to me that it was impossible for me to have a torn labia as that was part of female genitalia.

Murphy
Social Insecurity

How Did We Get from Summer of Love to Summer of Bifocals?

Some folks look back at that period of pot-smokin’, free-lovin’ hippies with disdain. But I’ve got to tell you, all that wild and crazy behavior sounds pretty darn good to me at certain times nowadays, like when I’m sitting in the hospital lobby waiting to get my colonoscopy.

Rosen

The Spin

One image of seniors is that we constantly repeat ourselves. I suggest we spin this by saying we are simply reinforcing our ideas (mostly to people who are not smart enough to understand what we are saying the first time).

Ryan

The Question of Golf

According to professional golfer Raymond Floyd, “They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were taken.”

September 2017
Sherman
Strictly Humor

What I Want Back

I want back the stunning sunsets and full moonrises I saw coming but didn’t watch because of some stupid self-imposed sidetracks that ultimately didn’t matter, but those suns and moons sure did.

August 2017
White-Walker
Agelessly Yours

Stripped of Her Softest Possession

Never developed those facial muscles. I’m so sick of hearing that it takes more effort to frown than it does to grin — not for me it doesn’t.

Witham
Ernie's World

Spanish Jeopardy!

"Women could not go out alone. Could not work. Could not shop by themselves. Or date. But the tobacco company hired young women to roll cigars." Probably smoked less than the men, I figured.

July 2017
Bardy
Laverne's View

Who Am I?

My DNA suggests that my muscle composition is common in elite power athletes. In reality, if you Google “uncoordinated” my photo will appear.... I was so clumsy, and without muscle power, that when it came time to climb the hanging ropes in gym, I never got further than sitting on the knot.

White-Walker
Agelessly Yours

Anyone Can Write Articles?

It’s not the highlight of one’s life to be approached without warning by an-in-your-face dopey dame who greets you with, “Ya know, anybody can write articles."

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