Meet our writers

 







Humor July 2016

Agelessly Yours

The Bible Says That?

By Karen White-Walker

“You should avoid people who contribute to the deterioration of your morale and quality of your life,” the Bible tells us. Well, it doesn’t exactly say that, but it does say, “Better to eat a crust of bread with a kind person than a steak with a craphead.” Okay, maybe it doesn’t exactly say that either, but you get the gist, don’t you?

Let’s face it, no matter how courteous and gracious we all strive to be, there’s always a few mean vindictive villains (think plays, like “all the world’s a stage”) out there chipping away at our own sense of worth. Just say you hate nuts in your brownies and there they go, dumping the whole stinkin’ bag into the batter and handing you the piece with the most nuts. It’s like your feelings and taste buds don’t mean a darn thing. Or, tell some people you’re highly offended by crude and crummy jokes and immediately they can’t wait to come up with, “I’m through buying my wife anymore Christmas presents,” and innocently you ask, “But why?”

“Because she didn’t use the one I gave her last year, a cemetery plot.”

Some mean people as they grow older seem to have this big rotten sense of entitlement. You might be in a public restroom and some bully plows her way through and says, “Out of my way, Buster, I gotta get in here.” To begin with, I don’t think you should shove anybody or call a lady “Buster,” especially when she scrubs her hands every time she uses the bathroom facilities. I’ve actually seen some who don’t, and I can’t help wondering if they think they’re in the men’s room or something.

It’s so hard to take those who don’t try and make life’s journey down here a little more pleasant. We must keep reminding ourselves that life’s spoilers are children of God, too. Guess our Heavenly Father isn’t too anxious to have them around either, because why aren’t they up there hobnobbing with Him? Because He knows they wouldn’t be rubbing elbows with Him, more like them SHOVING elbows.

“Difficult people are placed in our path to teach us the lessons of tenderness and tolerance,” a Carmelite nun once told me. No disrespect intended, but what the heck does a cloistered nun know about tolerance toward other people? She’s thrown into a crowd of one, herself. Try tossing her out into some public restroom with ‘Miss –I –Own-The-World” and let’s see how she fares. We’d be reading about her “Up On Assault Charges” in the newspapers.

Actually I’m constantly meeting delightful, considerate and refreshing people, so that’s why I’m always taken aback when I’m faced with “damaged goods.” Yes, we’re all emotionally scarred to some degree and possess a few hang-ups, but must we deliberately dump nuts into somebody’s brownies when they specifically said to you, “I hate nuts?”

Maybe it’s not exactly the nuts that are bugging me; it’s the idea of pouring the very thing in that arouses anger and resentment in someone. I tell you, if any potential dinner guest confided in me that ham and cabbage gave them diarrhea and a queasy stomach, I certainly wouldn’t break my leg running out to the garden patch or out to a barn to slaughter some swine, but I know others who might.

“You should avoid people who contribute to the deterioration of your morale and quality of your life,” the Bible tells us. Well, it doesn’t exactly say that, but it does say, “Better to eat a crust of bread with a kind person than a steak with a craphead.” Okay, maybe it doesn’t exactly say that either, but you get the gist, don’t you?

Maybe some of us are just too sensitive and take everything everybody says and does too personally. We’re supposed to say to ourselves, “It’s not all about me,” but where in the Bible does it say that? A scholar of Scriptures, I’ll never be, but I think in the Big Book it does say, “Do unto others what they do unto you.” No, wait! That’s not right. It’s “Do unto others AS you would have them do unto you.” And nuts to those who don’t.

 

Meet Karen