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Foto Foodies

By Dick Wolfsie
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I’m not sure this is a totally new idea. Unlike Joe, I’ve been uploading meals and then downloading them onto my shirts for more than 60 years. It’s not uncommon for people to ask
me about certain food choices I have posted on my clothing for all my friends to see…

I have a friend (let’s call him Joe…which by the way, is his real name) who posts everything he eats on Facebook, or what could be called Feed Your Face Book.

Joe photographs daytime snacks, late-night raids of the fridge, even the doughnuts he hid under the front seat of his car. He claims he has uploaded 3,000 food pictures onto his Mac — including a few dozen Big Macs, I might add. He wants to create a new app called Snack Chat. It’s like Instagram in the sense that the picture of the food disappears in a few seconds – as quickly as Joe’s lunch.

I’m not sure this is a totally new idea. Unlike Joe, I’ve been uploading meals and then I downloading them onto my shirts for more than 60 years. It’s not uncommon for people to ask me about certain food choices I have posted on my clothing for all my friends to see…

“Looks delicious, Dick. Wasn’t that the special at the Olive Garden last week?”

“Been to a ball game, Dick? I recognize the mustard.”

People are always imposing a visual record of their lives on others. I am tired of friends showing me their pets on their cell phones. I’d rather see a serving of French fries than a French poodle. An adorable pic of your granddaughter on her new trike isn’t very interesting to me. But show me a snapshot of a slab of smoky babybacks and I’d respond with: “Awww, how cute.”

It seems to me that publicly sharing your food intake encourages cheating. You may have read, for example, how much dishonesty there is with online dating. People sometimes fudge their age.

And talking about fudge, what’s to stop a woman from taking the Hershey bar she ate for lunch, and with some Photoshop magic, turning it into a little plastic bag filled with baby carrots? Men can be just as deceiving. Sure, it looks like a $45 rib-eye from St. Elmo, but it’s really just a cheap piece of beef off the grill at Golden Corral. With guys, it pays to be wary of digital
enhancements.

I eat a lot of meals in the car, so this would also create a bit of an inconvenience for me and jeopardize my already questionable driving record.

“Did I do something wrong, officer?”

“You suddenly pulled off onto the I-70 shoulder. Is everything okay?

“Sorry. I was just taking a photo of my fish sandwich.”

“Sir, this time I’m only going to issue a warning: Those are really high in sodium.”

Restaurants might try to benefit from this obsession with food photos. They already put little icons next to menu choices so we’ll know which items are low in calories. Now we’ll also know which ones are high in resolution. The waitress might not only ask if you have room for dessert, but also whether you have enough memory. Is the meal suitable for diabetics? Who cares, as long as it’s photogenic.

Personally, I don’t think posting meal choices on Facebook will catch on, at least not here in Indiana. Hoosiers are good people with high moral standards. They don’t want their kids looking at corn all day on the Internet.

 

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