I keep looking back at my life and wondering about things that have annoyed me. One of the earliest annoyances I can remember was having to wear those stupid gym uniforms. You remember those? When it came time for P.E., we had to don those most attractive white, 100% no-stretch, cotton bubbles that snapped up the front. They even made the adorable girls look like blobs. Other than babies, does anyone wear snaps? Most of us were at the awkward stage during those middle school years. Stripping in front of other girls was horrifying. Some of us were flat-chested, others of us were well endowed, and worse yet, the other girls could tell whether you were having your period or not. At the end of class, we had to peel those puppies off and put our street clothes back on our sweaty little bodies. What fun!
One of the most annoying things back then was cigarette smoke. There were ashtrays everywhere. I remember going to restaurants and having smoke blown in my face from the next table over. I remember the rancid smell of stale tobacco in the air of a plane with a smoking section, and I can even remember a time when ash trays were on everyone’s desk at work. At night, I’d have the pleasure of smelling the putrid odor of cigarettes all over my clothes and in my hair. In the morning, I could even smell it on my pillow even though I’ve never smoked a day in my life. What fun!
Other lifetime annoyances occur on the phone with customer service representatives. I just love it when they ask me for a call-back number. I happily give it to them so that when we get disconnected, I can call THEM back and start my saga all over again with a different customer service representative. My favorite is when they call me for information and ask me to verify my Social Security number and date of birth. Wait. Didn’t YOU call ME? What fun!
Now contracts are fun. I get to pay a different price every month for my cable. If I have the audacity to complain, I’m told I can lock in the same price every month if I sign a two-year contract, but nowhere in that contract does it say they have to actually give me service or that I can cancel it if I don’t receive any service. It is, however, very clearly written the fee I’d have to pay to cancel early.
Contracts can truly amaze me. I recently joined a new gym. In order to join, I had to sign a two-year contract I can’t cancel, but they can and will increase my monthly membership fee after the first year. Doesn’t a contract mean that both parties are locked into something for a period of time? Heavens, no. It means that I, and I alone, am locked into a contract for a period of time. What fun!
I think it’s not the big things in life that drive us crazy. I think it’s a combination of all these little annoyances piling up. In one day’s time, you can buy a coffee that’s too hot and burns your mouth, get stuck in a traffic jam you wouldn’t have been stuck in if that guy hadn’t cut you off and made you veer off course into the lane that takes you five miles out of your way before you can turn around. And check your receipt to find you were charged twice for the one item you purchased, get in the shortest line at the store but behind the old lady who can’t find her coupon, and arrive home to find all the clocks in the house are blinking 12 o’clock because the electricity went out while you were out.
These are all such little things. They are the small but relentless annoyances of life. Without them, every day would be the same. There would be nothing to laugh at. Where’s the fun in that?
"I’ve fallen and I CAN get up are the words I live by because when I fall and go BOOM, I always get back up."