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Reflections December 2016

Tunnel Visions

The Trouble with Fresh Beginnings at the New Year

By Bonnie McCune

Those inclined toward philosophy or thoughtfulness advocate use of values upon which resolutions rest. So a goal to lose weight has more potential for achievement if your core value is physical health, not simply an increase in numbers of friends of the opposite sex.

"You must change your life." (This from Rilke's poem, “Archaic Torso of Apollo'.” The poet, studying with the sculptor Rodin, gained insight into fleshy, solid, physical forms and applied these to his writing. Viewing this famous statue, he used it as an admonition to himself.)

I've had this maxim as a screensaver, on my mobile, taped to the wall, and scrawled in various places for years. It's an admonition to myself that things can be different, if only I try. Hard enough.

That's the bugger – try hard enough. As one year draws to a close and another raises its Medusan head, many of us think about our new year's resolutions. I know when I was much younger, I'd labor over my list. I can recite most of them from memory because they appeared year after year: lose weight, study French, write a novel, save money and budget the rest, exercise by jogging and biking, exercise by stretching or dancing, catch up on photo albums, clean a cupboard/closet/drawer regularly.

And like most everyone else, my resolutions lasted a week or two, then were cached until the next year. So I stopped making resolutions. When I thought about those pledges, I felt like a failure. Depression followed quickly, accompanied by over-eating, lack of energy, and general pessimism. Counter-productive, right?

Some experts suggest making resolutions that focus outside of ourselves. Don't necessarily think about improving us but about helping others. With this type of reasoning, a resolution to spend more time with our families weighs more heavily than one supporting involvement in a bridge group.

Those inclined toward philosophy or thoughtfulness advocate use of values upon which resolutions rest. So a goal to lose weight has more potential for achievement if your core value is physical health, not simply an increase in numbers of friends of the opposite sex.

Hold everything! Here's a smidge of realism. The truth is, habit does so much more to help us reach our goals than mere pledges of any type. Years ago following a lecture by my dentist, I started flossing daily. The health of my gums skyrocketed. About four years ago, I instituted a daily writing regime and since then have tripled my output. Day after day, week after week, whether I feel like flossing or writing, I do it. And I've gotten results.

Another innovative approach to change might be to do less, not more. I can give myself permission to abandon a former goal of reading my Facebook weekly. Rather than struggling to read newspapers and magazines within a week after they're received, cancel my subscriptions and gain more free time and relaxation. No more blaming government for shortcomings in society. I'll simply stop reading, listening or watching the news.

So this year I'll look at my motto daily and think about changing my life. But I don't have out-sized expectations. Transformations may be miniscule but they'll be cumulative. And habitual.

 

Bonnie McCune is a writer and has published several novels as well as other work. Reach her at www.BonnieMcCune.com.

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