My mother had a difficult childhood. Her parents abandoned her when she was four years old, and she spent time in a public childcare facility. Eventually, she and her sister went to live with two of their aunts.
As we were growing up, my mother was generous to a fault with her time in caring for her three children (my favorite example is her volunteering to be a den mother on her one day off a week as a waitress), but found it difficult to share her feelings about the love and affection she had for her family.
Shortly after she died, my father gave me two newspaper clippings that he found neatly folded in my mother's wallet. Both were about my high school track career. When I saw them I was stunned. I knew my mother was proud of me, but never in a million years would I have thought she would carry those pictures in such pristine condition until the day of her death over 25 years after the events occurred.
My mother visited me about a year after she passed away.
As an urban educator I was often exhausted at the end of a school day and would sometimes go to a local park to unwind before going home. On this particular visit I was more exhausted than usual. After shutting off the car engine, I slumped down and rested my head on the door window.
It was an early spring day and the sun was shining on my face. Although I was not thinking about her, I suddenly felt my mother's presence in a way that infused every cell of my body with her love for me. The feeling was euphoric, otherworldly, something I had never experienced before and haven't since.
I got out of the car and started to walk along a trail in the park. Everything I saw from trees to flowers to birds to fallen branches gave me great joy. It was like I was in a place that no longer held disappointment or pain and everything was good and beautiful.
The after effects of my mother's visit lasted for the next few days. I think an aura of joy surrounded me because one of my co-workers at school said something like, "What's up? You seem different. Did you win the lottery?"
I just smiled and said, "No, I'm just in a good place."
While I was growing up, my mother found it difficult to express her love for me in an affectionate way, but after passing on she came back for a visit to let me know of her deep love, a gift I will cherish until we meet again.
Contact the author at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .