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Advice & More June 2012

Divorced and Over Fifty? You’re Part of a Growing Trend

By Teresa Ambord

The 1990 Census showed among those 50-plus, one in ten individuals was divorced. Leap forward two decades to the 2010 census, and the “divorced” category skyrocketed to one in four adults. Also rising is the number of adults who choose not to marry at all, preferring either to live with a mate without marriage, or just to remain on their own.

 

On the topic of marriage, there’s good news… and there’s bad news. In the last few decades, the national divorce rate has declined, since its peak in the 1980s (according to the U.S. Vital Statistics Report and information from the U.S. Census Bureau). That’s good. But for those age 50 and up, the opposite is true. The 1990 Census showed among those 50-plus, one in ten individuals was divorced.

Leap forward two decades to the 2010 census, and the “divorced” category skyrocketed to one in four adults. Also rising is the number of adults who choose not to marry at all, preferring either to live with a mate without marriage, or just to remain on their own.

Researchers at Bowling Green State University in Ohio took a look at the phenomenon of older people headed for divorce court, and what’s pushing the trend.

 

What Factors are Driving the Divorce Rate Higher?

  • Economics. Conventional wisdom says the rising divorce rate is because men – perhaps in mid-life crises – are looking to replace their wives with newer, younger versions. But an AARP survey shows that 66 percent of the time, it’s the wife that initiates the divorce. In fact, chances are greater that the wife being involved in the workforce is more of a marriage deal-breaker than male infidelity.

Quoting from the AARP survey, “Rising female labor force participation is also conducive to divorce in that women have the economic autonomy (e.g. employment retirement benefits) to support themselves outside of marriage.”

Spouses used to depend on each other for financial resources, so happy or not, they stuck together. Now they have the perception, whether true or false, that they can do just as well alone. Unfortunately statistics show that for many elderly who have relied on a spouse for their care, when they have to fend for themselves, the federal and local governments increasingly have to shoulder the burden. Unmarried baby boomers are five times more likely to live in poverty than married boomers, and three times as likely to rely on public assistance, food stamps, or disability payments.

  • Life Span. People live longer. If they are unhappy in their unions, they may suddenly realize they’ve got a lot of life left to live, and they no longer want to live it with the mates they have chosen. That, combined with greater financial independence among women makes the prospect of striking out alone more attractive, more doable.
  • Social Acceptance. Back in the ‘60s, divorce carried a heavy stigma. Divorced women had a tough time even getting car insurance because they were viewed as unstable. Today the stigma has been all but eliminated. Not only are women able to secure insurance and credit on their own, but businesses that deny coverage or credit based on marital status can find themselves on the losing end of a discrimination lawsuit.

 

Other Contributing Factors in the Divorce Spike

  • Empty Nest Syndrome. Once the shared duties of parenting are done and the kids are grown and gone, couples who have struggled along, unhappy, may ask themselves “what’s the point?” Research shows this is even more true for couples that married young and had kids right away.
  • Financial necessity. Sadly, if one spouse becomes confined to a nursing home, the other may find their combined financial resources are quickly stripped to the bone. The healthy spouse may see the only way out is to divorce the incapacitated spouse, and leave him or her to apply for Medicaid.
  • Mid-life crises. For both husbands and wives, mid-life crises can be real. The individuals, who still view themselves as young, suddenly realize, their lives are half over. That’s where a lot of cases of infidelity get their roots as people try to prove to themselves they are not old yet.

 

So Post Divorce… What’s the Verdict?

Most people who go through divorce do report some mourning of the loss of relationship, as well as worry about financial security and retirement fears. Some who were dependent on their spouses and later experience health challenges, find they have to return to work even though they are not physically able anymore. Many divorcees say they feel alienated from the social circles they previously traveled in, circles that depended on being part of a couple. Still, overall the AARP survey shows that 76 percent of the people who responded said they had made the right decision to end their marriages.

 

Contemplating Divorce? Ask a Few Financial Questions

Take a hard, realistic look at your marital assets, like your home and your retirement funds, so you don’t get caught unaware. If divorce means you’ll have to sell the home you share, are you prepared to take a substantial loss in the current housing market? As for retirement, most payouts are subject to ordinary income tax, so think “after-tax” when you’re considering how much you will get.

Social Security benefits are not a divisible asset in a divorce. But if the marriage lasted at least 10 years, and you are at least 62 and unmarried, and the benefits you can draw on your own are less than your ex-spouse’s benefits, you can draw on his or her benefits instead. For more on this, log onto www.ssa.gov/retire2/yourdivspouse.htm.

What about health insurance? Do you depend on your spouse’s employment-sponsored health plan for coverage? If so, you may be forced to be covered under COBRA, and the price will be much higher than the premiums you are accustomed to paying.

Will you ask for alimony? Alimony is meant to even the score, somewhat, for the lower earning spouse. But if your soon-to-be ex -spouse is getting on in years or in questionable health, this source of income may be unreliable.

 

Teresa Ambord is a former accountant and Enrolled Agent with the IRS. Now she writes full time from her home, mostly for business, and about family when the inspiration strikes.

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