Pun ography: Apologies in advance

·  I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

·  When chemists die, they barium.

·  Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

·  A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

·  I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid.  He says he can stop any time.

·  How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

·  I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  Then it dawned on me.

·  This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

·  I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
                I can't put it down.

·  I did a theatrical performance about puns.
             It was a play on words.

·  They told me I had type A blood,
                  but it was a type-O.

·  This dyslexic man walks into a bra.

·  I didn't like my beard at first.
              Then it grew on me.

·  A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because
             she couldn't control her pupils?

·  When you get a bladder infection,
                     urine trouble.

·  What does a clock do when it's hungry?
                   It goes back four seconds.

·  I wondered why the ball was getting bigger.
                  Then it hit me!

·  Broken pencils are pointless.

·  What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

·  England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

·  I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

·  I dropped out of communism class
                 because of lousy Marx.

·  All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen.
              Police say they have nothing to go on.

·  I took the job at a bakery
                because I kneaded dough.

·  Velcro - what a rip off!

·  Cartoonist found dead in home.
               Details are sketchy.