Pun ography: Apologies in advance
· I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
· When chemists die, they barium.
· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
· A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
· I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
· How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
· I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
I can't put it down.
· I did a theatrical performance about puns.
It was a play on words.
· They told me I had type A blood,
but it was a type-O.
· This dyslexic man walks into a bra.
· I didn't like my beard at first.
Then it grew on me.
· A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because
she couldn't control her pupils?
· When you get a bladder infection,
urine trouble.
· What does a clock do when it's hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
· I wondered why the ball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me!
· Broken pencils are pointless.
· What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
· I dropped out of communism class
because of lousy Marx.
· All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen.
Police say they have nothing to go on.
· I took the job at a bakery
because I kneaded dough.
· Velcro - what a rip off!
· Cartoonist found dead in home.
Details are sketchy.