Sometimes we have tendency to judge one another by works and accomplishments. Neither the perception nor the interpretation are showing when someone says, “She could make something of herself if...” As a special friend reminded me, “she is already something,” and has attained many endeavors of which we are not aware.
When others offer opinions with which I disagree, I can shrug my shoulders, send a thought of Divine Love to the speaker, and add no comments. By adding comments, I would be showing judgment on one side of the fence or the other.
I continue to deal with areas that I feel are not my concern by doing a shoulder shrug. Others felt I was dismissing more than appropriate. Still others asked how I could do that about such a sensitive or personal happening.
When there were conflicts in our family, my mother had a talent for changing the subject, and it worked for us. Until I had a child of my own, I didn’t realize what she had been doing. Mom would very quietly and gently ask a question about an entirely different subject. Tony Robbins, in his cassette tape series, "Personal Power," suggests doing this to break the pattern. The subject can be re-addressed later, if necessary, without the strong emotional backing.
We are born with an array of natural, nonverbal abilities we use to communicate with adults in our immediate environment. As babies, we learned implications many months before we learned how to talk. The earlier forms such as gazing or gesturing do not get lost as we get older; they merely become conditional and optional.
As we progress through life, we teach what we learn and learn what we teach. This provides a formidable task for others to offer help if they have never walked in our shoes, no matter how much training or how many degrees hang on their walls. It is not healthy to wholly depend on the information of others; we must use the enlightenment we see, blend it and follow what we then know is good.
Is it healthy to have a “so what” attitude about everything? Our son used to tell me directly that I was a pessimist when I gave him any warnings about what life could be like out there. “When you get to college...” or, “If your friend begins showing off while driving, don’t ride with him again.” Our son's response was, “Won’t happen.” That continues as his attitude about many things, even though he is now in his late 20s.
I love his attitude! I wish I had more of it! Maybe his attitude will carry him through a safe and carefree life.
There is discussion today of our youth not being considerate of others. We, in our youth, may have shown signs of this, as well. Young people do their thing, whatever that might be, with the attitude toward others as, “so what?” It may be happening through a partial and unfavorable interpretation of our attitudes reaching out and touching others.
Does communication with our grandchildren depend on what kind of day we are having? Maybe it also depends on what kind of day they are having. Do we put on the side-blinders and make excuses for ourselves or for our grandchildren?
A friend comments that it has been a healthy reminder in recent years to do what is best for her and, as a result, it has to be the best for those around her. This does not mean she requires instant gratification because that is not necessarily lasting. It does mean having an overall attitude of goodness toward grandchildren and toward their friends. It means reminding ourselves that they are people, too, and we can give them a taste of the same respect and honor that we give our friends. This attitude is communicated both verbally and nonverbally.
Another friend shared that “It’ll be all right,” works for her in place of the shoulder shrug or, “so what?” “It’ll be all right,” is an excellent way of interpreting the same feeling into a healthier expression. It is released favorably and can be perceived by others in a favorable way.
We would like to see all others living happy, balanced lives. To walk that balance ourselves, we can walk like we talk in sending out healthy vibrations, by what we do and by how we take care of ourselves.