Since my daughter and son-in-law both work, my wife Wanda and I babysat our granddaughter Summer three times a week from 9 to 5. On an average day a toddler walks about 2½ miles and has to be picked up 93 times (about the same number of times I pick up a fork).
Babysitting our 20-month-old granddaughter was grueling, back-breaking, demanding work and Wanda and I came home each day exhausted. Recently our daughter Ann put Summer in daycare and we no longer have to babysit. And of course our reaction was: We miss Summer! We hate it! We’ve been demoted! How could they do this to us?
And our next reaction, of course, was for me and Wanda to blame each other:
Me: “You shouldn’t have complained so much about how hard it was.”
Wanda: “I never complained.”
Me: “You groaned a lot.”
Wanda: “I only groaned after you groaned.”
Me (incredulous): “So I was the first groaner?”
Wanda: “I’m glad you finally admit it.”
After this ridiculous argument which we both realized Wanda started (okay, I realized that), I asked our daughter Ann why she put Summer in daycare – did she not think we were doing a good job?
Ann said it had nothing to do with us, we’ll still see Summer on the weekends, but some scientific studies have shown that it’s very stimulating for toddlers to have interaction with other children their own age. To which I scientifically replied, “Phooey.” I told Ann about the scientific research done by the Grandparents United Association of America which clearly states that toddlers who are cared for by their grandparents have a greater chance to become geniuses. Unfortunately Ann couldn’t find that study (because I haven’t written it yet).
Wanda and I then decided to handle the situation like two mature adults and band together against the daycare center. I mean what did we know about this evil place anyway? Sure it had 420,000 “likes” on Facebook but that could be a fluke. And sure it got an A rating but it didn’t get an A+. (They don’t give out A+ ratings but I still felt justified in holding that against them.)
And sure they have music appreciation, art classes, dance parties, and field trips to museums but could that match the pillow forts that Wanda and I built for Summer? I think not.
And, can you believe this, they sent home daily progress reports telling how well Summer socialized and learned. Talk about putting pressure on a little kid. Our progress reports were if Summer made a number 1 or a number 2.
However, just when we were going to go full force against this daycare facility something happened that changed our minds. They sent home a progress report stating that because of Summer’s abilities she was being moved up to a slightly older group. Any place that realizes Summer is a genius has got be very astute, perceptive and knowledgeable and has our full support.
Okay the progress report didn’t exactly say genius. But grandparents know how to read between the lines.
Sy has written for The Bob Newhart Show, Taxi, MASH, Maude, The Wonder Years, and Frasier. He has been married for forty-one years which is great because they say the first forty are the toughest.