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Reflections May 2012

Aid for Age

Mustaches March Across Time

By Tait Trussell

I never wanted to grow a mustache. In fact, I used to look with a bit of suspicion on those who did wear mustaches. Now, in my old age I not only have a mustache but also a small beard. I concluded a few years ago that it was appropriate for old codgers to have beards.

When I was a young punk with a little fuzz on my face, my father advised me to start shaving my upper lip.

"You may want to grow a mustache some day, he advised. So, if you start shaving the upper lip now, the hair will be thicker later."

I never wanted to grow a mustache. In fact, I used to look with a bit of suspicion on those who did wear mustaches. Now, in my old age I not only have a mustache but also a small beard. I concluded a few years ago that it was appropriate for old codgers to have beards. I don't know if I thought it might endow me with a semblance of dignity or that I just thought it would be less face to shave, particularly because I have a tremor that can makes close shaves a bit dangerous.

By the way, the word codger is derived from "coffin dodger."

I have no desire for a waxed mustache or a handle-bar adornment. Although in earlier times, such styles were often seen and admired.

Abe Lincoln' assassinator, John Wilkes Booth, with a fine, full black mustache didn't do anything to enhance the reputation of the mustache. Nor did Adolph Hitler or Joe Stalin.

Men have been shaving for ages. Shaving with stone razors was possible from Neolithic times. But, according to Wikipedia, the oldest portrait showing a shaved man with a mustache was an Iranian horseman from 300 BC.

In 1800 BC, it is reported by the American Mustache Institute, that Pharaoh Teqikencola of Egypt -- a woman – "committed the unthinkable." She totally banned the possession and maintenance of all mustaches. Anyone under her brutal rule would have to submit to a bewhiskering.

The Roman Empire, noted for its lifestyle of grandeur supposedly gave up the mustache as a style. This, joshed the American Mustache Institute, led to its epic downfall. Societies "like the ancient Chinese flourished and basked in mustachial glory for centuries. As Confucius once said 'A man without a mustache is a man without a soul.' It took far longer for the great Chinese empires to collapse, and that can only be attributed to their unbridled admiration of the cookie duster," the Institute maintained.

"Modern times," proclaimed the American Mustache Institute "are probably the apex for mustaches. All styles and lengths are embraced. It is a time of mustache freedom. But we need to beware to defend the mustache to the death."

In western cultures, women generally studiously have avoided growing facial hair, using some form of depilation to avoid it -- although Mexican artist Frida Kahlo depicted herself in her artwork with a mustache. Some contemporary women in the arts reportedly followed the trend.

Today, sports stars, some entertainers and male models are depicted with facial fur – as if they forgot to shave for a few days.

A world Beard and Moustache Championship in 2007 had six categories for moustaches: natural (styled with aids), Hungarian (big and bushy with the hair extending beyond the upper lip, Dali (narrow with long points bent upward), English moustache (very long and pulled to the sides), Imperial (whiskers growing from both the upper lip and the cheeks), Fu Manchu (long downward pointing ends, usually beyond the chin) and freestyle (all moustaches that don't match other styles),.

The longest recorded mustache belonged to a man from India. It was reported to be 12 feet, six inches long.

A "moustache spoon" was used in Victorian England to protect the fashionable moustache while soup was eaten.

There is a Mustache Institute, which has sponsored the "Million Mustache March" on Washington. The aim is to seek a $250 annual tax deduction for expenditures on mustache grooming supplies in determining the wearer's adjusted gross income.

 

Tait Trussell is an old guy and fourth-generation professional journalist who writes extensively about aging issues among a myriad of diverse topics.

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