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Reflections April 2015

Phase Three

What, Me Worry? No Problem!

By Arnold Bornstein

It seems that we consistently worry about the weather, and whether it's going to happen on a special day or weekend and spoil some things, and it appears that often it doesn't happen. And we can't do anything about it anyway.

One of the most popular words in the English language to psychiatrists is anxiety. It's not that they don't also suffer from it, but they know it's a job-related word for them. To me, it's just another dictionary word for stress or uneasiness or greatly worrying about misfortune or danger.

Unfortunately, I now think I'm getting anxiety just thinking about anxiety itself. What I mean is I feel like I've got too much anxiety worrying about my favorite pro and college teams. I should have greater anxiety about more vital issues.

After all, I'm the kind of guy who looks again in the postal mail chute to make sure the letter dropped, or walks back to be certain the front door is locked, or pats my pockets numerous times a day to be reassured that I still have my wallet and reading glasses. For years, family and friends have been advising me: "Don't be a worry wart!"

Now there's terrorism, nuclear weapons, psychos roaming the streets, fatal car crashes, all kinds of illnesses. You get the idea. My Uncle Herbie used to say: "You gotta be made of iron!"

In any event, I'm not going to worry about being worried about a favorite team. As they say, even if they contradict each other: "Don't sweat the small stuff" vs. "It'll take your mind off of things," or "Things have a way of working out" vs. "With my luck...," or "Look before you leap" vs. "He who hesitates is lost."

Anxiety doesn't just come at you from the outside world. There's plenty to go around within your own small world, because it's a small world after all. When are you going to work up the nerve to ask for a raise? If you really and truly don't like your job, now what? Does he/she really like you? Did you say the wrong thing? What are they saying when you're not around? When are you finally going to do that task you've been letting go for months? Are you still putting off the doctor's visit? The list of questions is obviously endless.

Not that it bothers me or that you would think I'm a little anxious about it, but I hope you realize by now that to a degree I've been perhaps making some playful remarks about a serious subject: anxiety. You got that, didn't you?

Seriously though, I like the comment attributed to the deceased Teamsters Union leader, Jimmy Hoffa: "Don't anticipate, because 95 percent of what you anticipate never happens, and the other five percent you can't do anything about anyway."

Randomly reflecting on moments of anxiety in life, I recall:

  • It seems that we consistently worry about the weather, and whether it's going to happen on a special day or weekend and spoil some things, and it appears that often it doesn't happen. And we can't do anything about it anyway.
  • Quite a few years ago, I experienced some chest pains, My wife was in Florida visiting her mother, so our daughter drove me to the emergency room. The place was packed as usual, but when they asked me what the matter was, I said "chest pain," and they shot me into a doctor immediately. The diagnosis turned out to only be torn muscle fiber from doing exercises with weights.
  • Competing as a racewalker for New Jersey at the National Senior Olympics in Houston,
    Texas, I could physically feel the pressure and tension while waiting at the starting line for the pistol to go off, because I still had a dream of coming home with a medal. It didn't happen though (although I got a fourth-place ribbon).
  • I often seem to worry about the health and safety and well-being of my wife, our children and our grandchildren, a form of the anxiety that we all share as human beings. For all of us, living involves anxiety whether it's the future of a family member or friend or the future of the world. It's only when we stop caring that we may stop worrying – and that's a path that truly leads nowhere.

Not that it bothers me, nor is it anxiety, mind you, but I do hope you thought this column was pretty good. In any case, relax and enjoy!

 

I can be reached at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .

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