Who would have believed it? Billy Crystal, a standup comic, actor and director who makes people laugh, is about to celebrate his 71st birthday.
Well, maybe celebrate is too strong a world. Tolerate it would be more accurate.
In his autobiography Still Fooln' 'Em, Crystal, born in Manhattan and a New Yorker all the way, gives an outrageous account of his life as a performer and one of America's funniest actors.
One thing is made very clear in his 267-page book: he doesn't like getting old.
Crystal has always been one of my favorite actors. I especially liked him in City Slickers, a film about three New York pals who vacation at a dude ranch and go on a cattle drive.
The movie was a chapter from my own life. My brother Legs and I traveled to Arizona in the 1960s and followed in the steps of Billy and his friends. We visited a dude ranch, learned to ride horses, and became urban cowboys. I even went on a cattle drive in 1976 as part of the American Bicentennial Celebration. It was exhilarating and fun.
Crystal has been married to his wife, Janice, for 48 years. They have two children.
While he admittedly has smoked marijuana and loves it, he has never been addicted to drugs and he has had only one wife. He's also never been in rehab, which is a big thing in Hollywood these days.
He came up with the concept for City Slickers after several friends including Rob Reiner formed a new film production company called Castle Rock. They wanted him to be part of their company and made him a generous offer – he could create movie ideas and could even direct. If we like what you come up with, we'll use it, they promised.
Crystal's track record as a performer was amazing. He starred in the hugely successful When Harry Met Sally, along with dozens of other films and was a success as a standup comedian in Las Vegas and around the U.S. He had appeared as a guest on game shows and had been a hit on the “Johnny Carson Show.” Millions of fans loved his style of humor.
He made a funny film called The Princess Bride. One of his unforgettable lines which people still remember is "Have fun storming the castle."
When he wrote the outline for City Slickers, he had actor Jack Palance in mind to play Curly, a tough ranch foreman and wrangler who leads the cattle drive. Palance liked the script but was tied up in another movie and didn't think he could play the part.
As a second choice, Crystal contacted Charles Bronson who read the script and rejected the script, using the profane F-word to let Billy know what he thought of it. He just couldn't accept the fact that he would die on page 64 of the script.
Fortunately, Palance decided to reject the other film and came on board as Curly. The decision won him an Academy Award for best supporting role.
Although Crystal had not been on a horse since he was nine years old, he quickly adapted to his role as a city slicker out west. He did many of his own stunts on horseback and even ended up owning Beechnut, the horse he rode in the movie. He kept the horse until 2009 when the animal died at the age of 28.
Palance, who had made over 300 films, and Crystal became good friends. He could not believe that the role he played in Billy's movie won him an Academy Award, the highest award in filmmaking.
Another good friend that Crystal made was Mickey Mantle. It was a sad friendship as Mantle had developed a serious drinking problem. Billy had grown up as a New York Yankees fan and stayed friends with Mickey despite his drinking binges which lasted until his death.
There is one thing about Billy Crystal that is for real. He jokes about almost everything, but he is still in love with his wife of 48 years. The way he finishes his book is so touching I will take the liberty to quote a couple of sentences for you: "I can't bear to think of life without Janice. I want to go first because I don't want to miss her. That would be a pain far worse than any death.
"I don't want to miss the way she makes me laugh. I don't want to miss waking up and realizing she's holding my hand while she quietly sleeps. I don't want to miss hugging her when nothing else in the world makes sense.
"I don't want to miss her finishing my sentences because we're thinking the same thing. I'm going to just go on and keep living and laughing and loving. I'd like to think there is a heaven and it starts from the happiest day in your life. I'll be 18 and Janice Goldfinger will walk by me in a bikini, and I will follow her and it will start all over again."
Geno Lawrenzi Jr. is an international journalist who has worked in many parts of the United States as well as the Caribbean on newspapers and magazines. Contact him at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .