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Humor October 2013

Wit and Grit

Evicted with Dave Barry

By Mary Stobie

Yes, don't tell my husband but I'm getting evicted with Dave Barry, the Pulitzer-prize winning humor writer, just the two of us, both of us married to other people — a scandal.

I always thought it would be scary to get evicted from a rental home or an apartment. But what if the hotel police come knocking on the door, saying "All of you get out of the room! You are making too much noise and we're evicting you. Take all your belongings and get out!"

And I think it’s funny.

Yes, don't tell my husband but I'm getting evicted with Dave Barry, the Pulitzer-prize winning humor writer, just the two of us, both of us married to other people — a scandal.

No, to have journalistic integrity I must confess Barry and I are not totally alone. Barry is with his wife, Michelle, me, Heloise, Alan Zweibel from Saturday Night Live, and a lively group of columnists at the Hilton Hotel in Hartford, Connecticut.

Celebrating in the hospitality suite for the National Society of Newspaper Columnists annual get-together, we enjoy a great time. Writers freed from their cubicles back home have so much to talk about. We converse about the intense rainstorms and flight delays and cancellations. We compare notes about Mark Twain and his beautifully preserved house we have just toured, the home where he wrote Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer.

And of course we talk about our different states we are from, and exchange business cards. Time flies as we bandy about information on the columns and books we write, and kibitz about the newspaper business.

I tell Dave Barry "I liked your dance recital story."

Dave lights up. "That was about our daughter. Do you want to see her picture?"

"Of course," I say. Dave's wife, Michelle, shows me her photo on an iPhone '

"She is gorgeous" I say admiring their lovely daughter.

A friend takes a photo with Dave, his wife and me. With my camera.

But back to the eviction. The sound of our voices as a group reach a crescendo which our neighbors no longer tolerate. The hotel has mistakenly put a family next to our hospitality suite, a stupid mistake.

The family probably whined, "It's 10:30p.m. and we need to sleep! Can you shut up that noisy group up next door? What are they – a rock band? They'll probably trash the place and destroy the furniture!"

The hotel security police arrive in BLACK UNIFORMS.

We ruffled columnists bustle out of the inhospitable suite carrying snacks, chips, pop and cases of beer. Why is everyone laughing about being evicted and filling the elevators? Maybe we laugh because we're with Dave Barry and Alan Zweibel, the authors of Lunatics.

It feels like high school. Yes, for that evening we are young again, having fun like kids.

 

Mary Stobie is finishing her untitled book containing her best columns from the last 30 years. Mary's book contains new material about her life in Hollywood acting in films, writing screenplays and performing standup comedy, before she became a column writer.

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