Meet our writers


Advice & More March 2016

Ask Miss Nora

Back to the Future

The problem is that I don’t feel I can bring ladies back to my home any more as my sister considers my flirting “immoral and misleading” and I'm afraid she’s just downright rude to my guests.

Dear Miss Nora:

My wife and I made a deal many many years ago that we would travel when I retired (she retired from nursing when we had children). But now that both our children are grown up and living on their own (with their own children), the house is paid for and I have officially retired, she’s changed her mind and wants to remain here for our grandchildren! I'm feeling so disappointed by her lack of attention to me and my needs that I'm seriously considering traveling the world without her. How can I get her to keep her word and come with me? – Disappointed in Denver

Dear Disappointed:

Perhaps your wife’s change of heart has something to do with having made the “deal” before you had children and grandchildren – when you were her entire world. It’s conceivable that she had no idea how fulfilling it would be to surround herself with the love and joys of a family, so blindly agreed to up stakes and wander aimlessly with you throughout your second childhood dotage.

However, if you truly can’t relate to the depth of your wife’s love and devotion to your children and now grandchildren, go! Travel! See the world on your own – because there’s nothing more annoying than to have a petulant child sulking about the place while you’re trying to enjoy the fruits of your labors.

Let’s just hope that when you realize the world and all its wonders is nothing compared to the wonders and devotion of a loving family, they’ll cut you an even better “deal” and welcome you back.


Dear Miss Nora:

Last year I took a bad fall and had to give up my part-time job and all my hobbies while I recovered. I worked part time as a receptionist, I was a keen gardener, and I belonged to a local choir group and volunteered my free time to worthy causes. However, now that I'm somewhat healthier, I want to start finding something to enjoy again but I've lost all my confidence. I tried to rejoin my local social group but I had what can only be described as a panic attack and had to go back home before I even got out of the car.
I'm afraid I’m destined to be alone and lonely forever if I can’t build myself back up. How do I get back to the old me?  – Panicky in Palm Springs

Dear Panicky:

The phrase, running before you can walk comes to mind. Instead of trying to get back to where you were, try a slower, more supported approach, first. You don’t mention if you have children or family close by but perhaps you could enjoy short outings with a close friend or have him/her over for tea or coffee on a regular basis – just the two of you and heart-to-heart chats to start with.

Next, invite a few more select acquaintances to your home and, in time, go out with them to larger gatherings or events with the understanding that you might feel the need to cancel if you start feeling overwhelmed. Although, in these instances, I always find it helpful to assign Walt the task of Coach. If I'm reluctant to engage in something, I give him permission to be my booster-upper. It helps to have his extra encouragement so long as he doesn’t go all Navy Seal on me and bark commands until I cry!

Most importantly, take it slowly and with every step of the way back to being the “old you,” keep this in mind: stay focused on this one point – you are an amazing, giving person. Your friends and colleagues need your vitality and drive back in their lives whenever you’re ready to return. No doubt, you left a huge hole. So, get back in there and fill it!


Dear Miss Nora:

Is it wrong to flirt after the age of 70? I’ve been a widower for several years but still enjoy socializing, dancing and occasionally a date, but nothing serious. However, just recently, my sister lost her husband and moved in with me. I've tried to include her when I entertain or go to parties but she says she’s happier on her own.

The problem is that I don’t feel I can bring ladies back to my home any more as my sister considers my flirting “immoral and misleading” and I'm afraid she’s just downright rude to my guests. I've tried to explain to her that its’ just my personality and that I'm never offensive or inappropriate, just playful but it all falls on deaf ears. Can you help me make Sis understand that life is meant to be fun? – Happy-Go-Lucky in Henderson

Dear Happy:

Ahhhh yes, the ole’ green-eyed monster! I fear it isn’t so much that your sister doesn’t understand … it’s that she understands all too well and is envious of your ability to partake of the joys of life and frustrated at her inability to join in.

Perhaps your sister had an unhappy marriage or a stifled sex life or just a monotonous existence with her dearly departed other half and can’t relate to your healthy vigor. Without knowing much about her, it’s difficult to determine just what part of your joie de vivre she’s objecting to. However, my advice is to treat her kindly and gently but firmly. Point out that you got along nicely before she moved in and intend on doing so now, regardless of her disapproval. Stress that she is not to be discourteous to your guests or, at the very least, if she cannot hide her displeasure, she should make herself scarce while you entertain.

Then, ASAP, get that woman a flower-bringing, hand-kissing, compliment-giving date! Nothing awakens dormant passion like a good old fashioned "seeing to!"


Nora will take requests for advice through email: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Meet Miss Nora