Meet our writers

Advice & More February 2014

Quotation Quotient

What’s Your QQ?

By Arlen Grossman

“Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.” - Irvin S. Cobb.

1. "Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."

A. C. Everett Koop

B. Don Draper

C. Erma Bombeck

 

2. "If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts."

A. Richard Nixon

B. Albert Einstein

C. Bernie Madoff

 

3. "Can anybody remember when the times were not hard and money not scarce?"

A. Ralph Waldo Emerson

B. Kate Middleton

C. Emily Dickinson

 

4. "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen."

A. Wolfgang Puck

B. Barack Obama

C. Harry S. Truman

 

5. “I had three chairs in my house; one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society.”

A. Mel Brooks

B. Warren G. Harding

C. Henry David Thoreau

 

6. “Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world.”

A. Hugh Hefner

B. Jimmy Choo

C. Marilyn Monroe

 

7. “Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then – we elected them.”

A. Abraham Lincoln

B. Lily Tomlin

C. Brian Williams

 

8. "We'll always have Paris."

A. Humphrey Bogart

B. Barron Hilton

C. Charles de Gaulle

 

9. “Go into the street and give one man a lecture on morality and another a shilling, and see which will respect you most.”

A. Samuel Johnson

B. Samuel Jackson

C. Samuel Clemens

 

10. "If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman."

A. Donald Trump

B. Margaret Thatcher

C. Jennifer Lawrence

 


 

Answers: 1-C, 2-B , 3-A , 4-C , 5-C , 6-C , 7-B , 8-A , 9-A , 10-B

Scoring:              

10 – QQQQ = Quote-Master   

8-9 – QQQ = Scholar                      

6-7 – QQ = Literate

4-5 – Q = Semi-Literate

0-3 – No Q = Quote-Dunce

 

BONUS QUOTE:

“Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.” - Irvin S. Cobb. (Cobb, 1876-1944, was an American author, journalist, and humorist.)

 

Arlen Grossman lives in Monterey, CA, and writes a weekly quotation quiz for the Monterey County Herald. He welcomes comments at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . Enjoy more quizzes at quotationquotient.com.

Meet Arlen